Since the weather has been crazy, and after the long winter it seems like we skipped spring and went to summer earlier,
The trees and flowers look confused…
They want to bloom and show beautiful greens,
but they are hesitating to do so.
Maybe they are afraid that cold days may suddenly come back again.
I am like them now.
Being afraid of being hurt again.
Of course I wanna feel happy.
Of course I wanna scream that I am so happy right now.
But at the same time,
Something is stopping me from doing that.
I think “fear” that I got from my past relationship experience must be causing this.
I thought about many things on the bed last night.
As some songs’ lyrics go,
What’s the point of building up just yo tear it all down….?
I wanna be ok without him.
I wanna be strong enough so that when the time that we realize it’s not gonna work comes, I would be alright.
I know that I am crazy and it’s sad to think that this is not gonna work anyway,
but I can’t help it.
I know he is getting tired of me acting like this.
And I always go back to him at the end.
I gotta stop this.
All or nothing. Gotta make the decision soon.
Confused trees and flowers…
I feel you.