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Thoughts from thinking-too-much phase

Sometimes, my mind suddenly becomes aware,

and it tells me what I should do or what I imagine I should do for the situation.

 

It may tell me something that I don’t want to admit,

or that I won’t particularly like to do,

but my mind starts trying to make me believe that it’s a right thing to do.

 

Then,

I begin to make things more complicated or difficult

since, I guess, I have been that way since I was small.

 

Sometime, I think I am not good at being or staying happy.

But at the same time, I believe that I always put myself into the situation where I know it’s not gonna work

but I want to believe that it would work…

 

But the reality is what it is.

At the end, you can’t change what you can’t change.

 

Here I am. Woke up at 3 AM.

With no reason. Typing these words.

 

I am not upset with anybody.

I am just upset with myself.

For being like this for so long.

 

When will I be able to stop doing this?

When will I be able to stop thinking too much?

 

I don’t know.

 

but one thing….

I am honest with myself.

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