It should be simpler than this

Sometimes, I get so annoyed by myself because I can’t be honest with my feeling.

It should be really simpler than this.

There’s no reason to try to make the person feel guilty about anything.

In my head, the honest me tells me to say how much I wish I were with the person at this moment.
But my mouth brings words that I don’t mean to say….

It should be really simpler than this.

Since when I was small,
I have been a kind of person who tries to be strong by myself.
I pretend like I am ok with being alone, I don’t need any help from anybody, people depend on me so I can’t show my weakness.

Really…. it should be simpler than this.
I should be happier than this.

Advertisements

Lucky and happy

The moment you know that you are with someone right and special to you….

is when he/she says what exactly you want to hear at the time.

 

I feel so lucky and happy to have someone who brings right words to my life.

 

It’s unbelievable that I can have this feeling

after having experienced many heartbreaks.

 

But here I am…. Smiling everytime I think about the moment.

 

I am so thankful that I have someone who makes me believe that it’s okay to be who I am.

I really am…. Thank you.

Thank you for loving me

Only a week of separation makes a difference.

 

We have become more honest.

We have missed seeing each other.

We have desired to be with each other more.

 

And…

We have fallen in love with each other more.

 

I love the moment when I can feel lucky to have this person in my life.

And I like when I can be calm enough to look forward to spending more time with the person.

 

He definitely makes me want to look forward to the future.

He definitely makes me want to become a better person everyday.

 

I simply wanna say… thank you for loving me.

 

For now.

No matter how much I fight with the doubts,

I go back to the truth.

 

No matter how much I try to give up,

I go back to the truth.

 

And here I am.  I am still here to be with you.

 

There’s nothing wrong to love someone

even though there are so many problems to face and solve.

 

In the end of the day,

what matters is how much you love the person

and how much you want to be with the person and smile with him/her.

 

So for now,

I am gonna just enjoy being happy with you.

A giving person

Have you ever thought about “happiness”?

For the past two or three days,

I am confused with the concept of happiness.

I’ve written before that it is important to think about your happiness first.

But the more I think about what makes me happy, the more confused I get.

For the most of my life, I’ve felt happy when I can do something for somebody else and make him/her happy.

But lately, I feel sad or down because I’ve felt under-appreciated.

And it’s really stupid because I always tell people , “oh don’t worry! I am not doing this to ask you to give something back to me.”

Why would I say that if I expect to be appreciated by people for what I’ve done for them?

I’ve realized that it’s REALLY difficult to think about only MY happiness.

It seems like it’s impossible for me to think about and seek for what makes ME happy.

When I think about things, well let’s say, when I think too much about things,

I often end up thinking like… “well, this person is better off without me.”

Why is that?

But still… I am a giving person… I guess I can’t help it.