Still not feeling positive to be honest…. but it’s ok.
You know, this is my life. I don’t want to feel like I “have to” do things so that people think that I am doing “good.”
So I decided to stay at home all day today.
I am not making excuses like it is raining outside. Indeed, it is not raining outside.
Of course there are tons of study to do to make progress on “what I am supposed to be doing,”
but today, I decided that I will stay out of it.
I am watching cooking channel on TV…. I am eating whatever I wanna eat…
I would go take a nap if I want to.
I realized that if I start thinking about the schedule and time left for me to get certain things done,
I get overwhelmed so easily.
My body feels so stiff. I feel so bad. I feel so stressed out. I feel like crying. I feel like running away…
So, today, I am not going to think about the schedule. There is always tomorrow.
I tried the meditation for 5 mins. Turning off everything and sat on the floor.
Just for 5 mins….
Honestly, I am not sure if it made anything better. But hey, better than nothing right?
I said that I decided not to think about the schedule. But I do have an appointment at 8 pm.
but by then, I will do whatever in my mind.
I don’t care it’s still Thursday. I don’t care what time it is.
Yes, I don’t care what people think.
This is my day. This is my time. Today is mine.