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Today is Mine

Still not feeling positive to be honest….  but it’s ok.

You know, this is my life.  I don’t want to feel like I “have to” do things so that people think that I am doing “good.”

So I decided to stay at home all day today.
I am not making excuses like it is raining outside.  Indeed, it is not raining outside.
Of course there are tons of study to do to make progress on “what I am supposed to be doing,”
but today, I decided that I will stay out of it.

I am watching cooking channel on TV…. I am eating whatever I wanna eat…
I would go take a nap if I want to.

I realized that if I start thinking about the schedule and time left for me to get certain things done,
I get overwhelmed so easily.
My body feels so stiff.  I feel so bad.  I feel so stressed out.  I feel like crying.  I feel like running away…

So, today, I am not going to think about the schedule.  There is always tomorrow.

I tried the meditation for 5 mins. Turning off everything and sat on the floor.
Just for 5 mins….
Honestly, I am not sure if it made anything better.  But hey, better than nothing right?

I said that I decided not to think about the schedule.  But I do have an appointment at 8 pm.
but by then, I will do whatever in my mind.

I don’t care it’s still Thursday.  I don’t care what time it is.

Yes, I don’t care what people think.

This is my day.  This is my time.  Today is mine.


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